The last text

"...I don't want you back."

There it was, five words that drained all hope. All was said and done. This time she meant it. This time there was no way out. Its a deadlock situation.

That's the problem. I always think like there is a way out. Like I can find a way to fix things, to make things work. Not giving up is a double-edged sword, perhaps for me.

My friend said:

"Hirap sa'yo, isang text lang niya nababaliw ka na kagad."

Haha, If being crazy was all it was, I'll go to a rehab and survive it. But no, I chose this kind of life and now I have to live with it.

I cleaned my room and removed a lot of things that is not supposed to be there anymore. I told myself that its for the holidays, its for my nephew. But no, its me leaving the past.

I thrashed a bunch, washed the dirty sheets and pillow cases, then burned a lot of letters and gifts that used to mean a lot.

Somewhere we can both be right
Somewhere where imagination grazes in the half-light
I'm enamored it's December in your eyes so
Warm me by your fireside...

Its January now but I did not feel the icy feeling of December. Maybe its the climate change kicking in. Or maybe its me not feeling the cold anymore.

I hope its not too late...