Friday, December 12, 2008

Wala lang....looter sa Internet ng Iba


Nasa opisina akong dati kong inookupa..
nagme-meeting sila kaya may oras akong mangialam sa gamit ng iba..
wala lang akong magawa, pano ayaw pa nila ibigay ang jacket namen kaya hindi na lang ako pumunta ng christmas party..:))

Kung pagkain lang, punta na lang akong despedida party.. hindi rin kasi masaya pumunta sa christmas party na may iniiwasan ka at may umiiwas sa'yo...

ewan ko ba, wala naman akong ginagawang masama, pero kailangan kong umiwas...
guilty sa kasalanang hindi ko naman ginawa.. hahaha...

ayos na rin 'to, wala namang nakakaalam ng taguan kong ito kundi kayo-kayo lang din na nakikiusyoso sa blog ko...hahaha...

ansaya ko di ba... pano, magpapasko na, marami na namang ham na magkakalat kung saan-saan, sana may malaglag sa harap ko, 'yung libre....

'yun lang, saka na 'yung iba, wala ako sa mood magdrama eh..;-)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Last Column ko...........SANA

Snapping out… Killing the drama…

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“When a man journeys toward his destiny, often he is obliged to change paths. At other times , the forces around him are too powerful and he is compelled to lay aside his courage and yield…”— The Fifth Mountain, Paulo Coelho.
Everybody experiences misery a moment in his life. As for me, I am in such a desolation. Do not expect me to narrate everything because it is about man attaining Personal Legends and facing unavoidable circumstances that block his way to success. My decision was the turning point of my life and I chose the difficult path, which consequences are yet to be experienced.
“So little time, / try to understand /that I’m trying to make a move just to stay in the game, /I try to stay awake and remember my name /but everybody’s changing and I don’t feel the same.”—Everybody’s Changing, Keane
I believed that change is inevitable; one must deal with it or die. It is a cliché that nothing is permanent except change itself. The hard thing about dealing with change is that most of the time, it comes unexpected. Change has always approached us like an untimely guest, one that comes when we want that everything in the current state would be permanent. When we think that all is perfect and how we wish that nothing would go wrong, that is when change starts its entrance and ruin the facade of perfection. Though we already know that the whole thing is temporary, we try to keep them intact. We adjust; we try to cope with the change while preserving what seems to be apt to us, keeping what we want to cherish the most only to end up realizing that it’s not the same ─ and will never be the same.
“In the end I guess I had to fall. / Always find my place among the ashes. /
I can't hold on to me, /Wonder what's wrong with me.” — Lithium, Evanescence.
It is me; the one who always have a positive outlook in life, the one who encourages. I had lived the reputation of someone who, even in the midst of the most desperate situations, simply smiles without overconfidence or resignation. But it seems that pressure of circumstances prevailed and gained control. Change took its toll on me and so I say, I am suffering this grief right now… my soul is trampled… dreams are scrapped… it seems that I already forgot the meaning of forever…
Sudden implosion of silenced emotions /buried beneath a scarred heart for too long. /Delusions of hope fading away, /dying like leaves on frozen soil — My Apocalypse, Arch Enemy
I am writing my second and last column, it’s been a while since I joined the publication. The last three years taught me a lot of things and to start my life all over again, I will still choose to be the jerk who entered the school pub out of scratch. I want to extend my gratitude to our advisers, Ma’am Espina and Sir Tabo Tabo, who had been our parents in the office. To my senior editors who never ceased to believe in us, wherever you are, I owe you one. Conrad, Hector, Rex and all my other colleagues, it was an awesome team; let’s meet up someday and drink coffee. And speaking of coffee, thanks to the raccoon who taught me to drink coffee (peace man!). Lastly, I would like to give glory to the last three entities that had been my inspiration to write: the Almighty one who will always challenge and guide me to thy path, to my mother who had shed her sweat, blood and tears, and to the one I will refer to as ‘Nameless’ who had crushed me yet loved me with all her heart. I know she is out there somewhere, rediscovering things… I’ll be waiting for you forever…
Surely, I’ll miss writing… Hey, I’m hungry… Itadakimasu!
Break Operation…

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Gushing Spree

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Itadakimasu (ee-tah-daki-mast) is a Japanese kanji that locally means “Kakain na…” and hearing those words tickles my mind to ask what’s in for lunch or dinner. Eating plays an important role in the life process of any living being. As for us human, it’s also a time to interact and talk about our day-to-day experiences. I’m not a fleshy guy but I love to eat, yet I hate eating alone. I prefer eating with a companion and share my food as well as stories of my own.
Speaking of eating together, our small rectangular table at home seems to be bigger now that my older brother settled down with her girlfriend. They have been together for five years before they decided to marry and technically, there’s nothing wrong with that. Both of them finished college and got decent jobs. What I detested about the wedding is that it’s too sudden. The reason? In a few months, I will be having my first niece (or nephew, we just hope it is a baby girl). At first, I thought it was just a corny joke but come to think of it, the line “Noon bago mag-asawa, hinihintay ang kabilugan ng buwan. Ngayon, hinihintay nang bumilog ang tiyan.” seems to be true. I was the first one to know it in the family and though I’m shocked (and utterly dismayed) with the situation, I still helped my brother to explain everything to our mom. After all, what are brothers for? I just cannot believe that one of the persons I looked up to could make such a mistake in these times of crisis; he could have at least waited for me to graduate.
Anyway, we’re happy that the wedding ceremony went well and maybe in a few months, the baby will be celebrating with me as my debut approaches (yeah, the baby’s expected birth date is quite near mine). As the priest said, “Huwag po kayong malulungkot. Hindi naman po kayo mababawasan, madadagdagan pa nga po kayo eh…”
Now I’m talking about my birthday and growing old. Our adviser used to say that I’m still childish and that I’m not yet ready for big responsibilities (e.g. having a girlfriend). Well I cannot hold them responsible of my activations because most of the time I’m just another jerk occupying a space in our office, but at least I know that in a way, they trusted me to be the Circulations and Office Manager of the publication. Just this recent, my best buddy just had her first daughter and my first godchild too. Instead of having presents for Christmas, it will turn out that I’ll be the one to give something for my cute godchild. It is true, I’m not getting any younger anymore. After a year and a half, I’ll be graduating (still keeping my fingers crossed), let my parents retire, give them time to enjoy their life and then I will be marrying ‘her’ (she-who-must-not-be-named) too someday.
I am bugged by the thought of having liabilities of my own. It is because I failed so many times before and I do not want to fail anymore. My mom went to two successive surgical operations and needs to rest. With the country’s current situation, I need to graduate the soonest time possible or else, she’ll be forced to work for two more years. That would be a heavy stab on my chest. So guys, let us make our parents proud (specially our mom) because they have been giving out everything for us.
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” – Closing Time, Semisonic
No matter how much we love to eat, we always have to end the session because eating is just one of many life processes. We tend to say goodbye so that we can go on and meet others, and maybe, to have a brand new start. For those who have to leave, we might feel melancholic for them but it could be better for them to stay that way. For my Lola Mary, I know she’s enjoying her stay up there, upon the table of the heavens.
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Monday, January 21, 2008

Nasirang Pangako

Maganda ang panahon pero hindi ko maramdaman ang kagandahan nito. Wala naman akong dapat ikalungkot bukod sa alaala ng isang taong lumisan may kung ilang buwan na ang nakakaraan.
Sabagay, wala namang kasalanan si Lyndon dahil doon na sila titira ng pamilya niya at alam kong wala siyang ibang pagpipilian. Masaya na ako sa naging usapan namin bago siya umalis at sa dalawang regalo niya – isang pares ng love birds.
Hindi naman talaga naging kami ni Lyndon. Nagkaroon lang kami ng ‘pagkakaintindihan’. Kung tutuusin, sandali nga lang ang ‘pagkakaintindihan’ na ‘yon dahil umalis din siya pagkatapos ng isang taon.
Malambing siya kahit na bihira sa mga lalaki ang malambing. Magiliw sa ibang tao kahit hindi kilala. Nakasama ko lang siya sa isang proyekto noong Foundation week at doon na nagsimula ang lahat. Nakakatuwa rin ang pagiging maginoo at matapang niyang lalaki. Hindi siya umurong nang sinabi kong kailangan niyang humarap sa mga magulang ko.
“Bakit hindi? Wala naman akong masamang intensyon kaya pupunta ako…”
Wala namang itinutol ang mga magulang ko dahil kilala nila ako, hindi ako basta-basta nakikipag-relasyon. Bukas rin ako sa kanila kaya mahirap maglihim ng matagal. Simple lang naman ang kundisyon, ipagpapaalam niya ako tuwing lalabas kami.
Kung hindi lang siguro siya umalis, malamang sinagot ko na siya. Siyempre ayoko naman magkaroon ng nobyong parating wala sa tabi ko. Kaya bago siya umalis, nagusap kami at gumawa ng isang tipan na hindi kami titingin sa iba. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa kaniyang salita kaya hanggang ngayon, pinanghahawakan ko ang pangakong iyon.
Wala namang bago ngayong araw. Pagpasok ko nga lang ay sinalubong ako ni Riza, ang matalik kong kaibigan.
“Samahan mo naman ako mamaya, magsimba tayo,puwede ba?” tanong ni Riza.
“Oo ba. Pero teka, ano bang meron at magsisimba ka? Hindi naman Linggo ah.”
“Wala lang… ang totoo nalulungkot ako dahil ika-labindalawang tanong anibersaryo ng pagkamatay ng tatay ko ngayon. Pero ‘wag na natin pag-usapan iyon. Basta magsimba na lang tayo.”
Kahit na hindi naman ako nagsisimba kapag karaniwang araw ay pumayag na rin ako. Kawawa naman ang kaibigan ko, Kapag ako naman ang nalulungkot, si Riza lang din naman ang natatakbuhan ko.
Sandali lang ang misa kapag karaniwang araw pero nakakapagtakang naluha ako nang magkomunyon na. Hindi dahil sa antok kundi sa kakaibang lungkot na hindi ko maintindihan ang dahilan. Kahit si Riza ay nagtaka dahil wala namang direktang dahilan ang pag-iyak ko.
Katulad ng nakagawian ko na pag-uwi, hinanap ko ang dalawang lovebirds na iniwan ni Lyndon. Eksaktong siyam na buwan na simula noong umalis siya. Naroon at naghahanap ng pagkain sa kanilang lalagyan ang isa. Pilit kong hinanap ang ikalawa subalit bigo ako. Doon dumating ang aking ina.
“Namatay ‘yung isa kaninang tanghali. Napansin naming lulugo-lugo kanina pag-alis mo at ayaw kumain. Hayun, natuluyan na noong magtanghalian kami,” kuwento ng nanay ko.
Kaya siguro naluha ako kanina. Doon lang nakumpleto ang kakulangan ng lungkot na kanina ko pa nararamdaman. Binalak kong ipaalam ito kay Lyndon kaya binuksan ko ang computer at sinubukang kumunekta sa Yahoo Messenger. Hindi siya online kaya nagpasya na lang akong ikuwento ito gamit ang e-mail
May mensahe na pala siya, nitong umaga lang niya ipinadala. Binuksan ko iyon at saka pinagsisihan ang lahat. Sinabi niya sa aking kalimutan ko na siya, na hindi na niya kayang tuparin ang aming tipanan, na nakahanap na siya ng bago sa kinaroroonan niya.
Tuluyang dumaloy ang mga luha sa aking mga pisngi habang inililibing ko ang lalaking ibong namatay kani-kanina lang.