"...I don't want you back."
There it was, five words that drained all hope. All was said and done. This time she meant it. This time there was no way out. Its a deadlock situation.
That's the problem. I always think like there is a way out. Like I can find a way to fix things, to make things work. Not giving up is a double-edged sword, perhaps for me.
My friend said:
"Hirap sa'yo, isang text lang niya nababaliw ka na kagad."
Haha, If being crazy was all it was, I'll go to a rehab and survive it. But no, I chose this kind of life and now I have to live with it.
I cleaned my room and removed a lot of things that is not supposed to be there anymore. I told myself that its for the holidays, its for my nephew. But no, its me leaving the past.
I thrashed a bunch, washed the dirty sheets and pillow cases, then burned a lot of letters and gifts that used to mean a lot.
Somewhere we can both be right
Somewhere where imagination grazes in the half-light
I'm enamored it's December in your eyes so
Warm me by your fireside...
Its January now but I did not feel the icy feeling of December. Maybe its the climate change kicking in. Or maybe its me not feeling the cold anymore.
I hope its not too late...