Deviation... Who knows?

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."

- Closing Time, Semisonic

Well its my fault for not performing... or maybe its someone else's fault for not motivating me the way I should be motivated. Too late for the blame game though. Changing paths, its always hard for me to do this. I always question my ability to accept change though I've been through a lot of great, fuckin', amazing and awesome changes, specially lately. 

The thing is this time, I need to make it my weapon... Some sort of "Gokai change" or "Henshin" that can help me get through. Hahahaha... One thing I hate about planning is that it never happens 100% the way it's planned... If you're not flexible enough, you'll end up cracked by your own plans. 

So I said yes. For regularization, for keeping the pride, for telling myself that I'm still worth of something, for the sake of staying in the game of life. Who knows, this might be the personal niche that I'm looking for. I'm excited, challenged, maybe a bit scared. I'm sad coz I need to leave, happy that its gonna be a new adventure and new friends. Just when you started to grow fond of the environment, its already time to go, another "just a passing by kamen rider" moment.

FINE, LETS DO THIS!

Lullabies as a funeral song

I'm currently reading "The Hunger Games" of Suzanne Collins. So far its a half-novel half "PBB Teens" but what caught my attention is this:

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.

Here it’s safe, here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it’s morning, they’ll wash away.

Here it’s safe, here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you."

It's the scene where Rue, a character that resembles much like the protagonist's sister, died in action. Being a caring sister, even if she doesn't know how to sing, Katniss sang this lullaby to Rue. I imagine T. Swift's "Safe and Sound" playing on the background...

Now I'll have to download the movie, right? :)

The urge to post cannot be stopped

Time for special buster...

Phase 2 initializing, gonna kick someone's ass... :)

So here's my "bad ass" background music... Hahahaha...

(I promise to post something sensible on my next post...)

'You need to be happy to live, I don't.' - Keanu Reeves

Hear my confession

Lingering intentions
Bringing us both
To different directions
So take what you can

And take me where I wanna be
Any place will do
Learn the tricks of fire
I apologize
But I'm gonna have to take me with you
Learn the tricks of fire
And wash yourself with it

Yeah yeah
Learn the tricks of fire
And wash yourself with it

Feel the sand in between your toes
Nobody has to know
The pleasure that you take
In every step that you make
Harbor it all the way

Take me to a place I wanna go
I have survived in defeat
Do you know the tricks of fire
I apologize
But I'm takin' me with you
I badly, badly need to burn
Badly need to burn

Yeah yeah
I badly, badly need to burn
Badly need to burn

Sand and the sea..

Meet in between

Fire and ice..

You and i

Meet in between..

Meet in between..

You and i

You and i

The title, I read from FB... Striking lang... :)
The song is what's playing on my player right now as my soul lingers somewhere else... My blog is asking me to write again but my thoughts won't permit me... Hahahaha...

Quick post for everybody

Without prejudice to religion or any belief...
Let's not use "God" as a reason to whatever we are facing today.
Indeed, I believe that He wrote a perfect plan for us, but then He gave us free will.

Hindi pwedeng tinatawag na lang natin xa the way we use the effin phrase na "Bahala na si Batman".

"Sometimes the truth isn't good enough.
Sometimes people deserve more.
Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded..."

- Batman, The Dark Knight

Ahm, I can't blog further... not much inspiration I guess. :)

Thin lines, comparison and a poem

"There's a thin line between crisp and burned..."

Wala lang yan, pauso ko. Natutunan ko habang nagpi-prito ng lechon kawali at sumasayaw kakaiwas sa talsik ng mantika. Pro na 'ko, hindi ko na kailangan takpan habang nagpi-prito, nakaface mask at kevlar na lang ako. Hahaha... (Again, bawal kumontra. Blog ko 'to)

The hell sa pauso ko 'di ba, walang kwentang blog post. Pero kung gusto mo pa magbasa, e di sige...simulan na natin.

There's a lot of thin lines nowadays. 'Yung mga contrasting things, anlapit na nila bigla. Dati mga related things lang ang may thin line. Confidence at arrogance, friendship at love, Crisp at Sunog, T-back at puwet, pizza, napkin... Ngayon pati love and hate na, morning at night, gwapo at panget (kasi kahit panget, puwede na rin manlalake/mambabae, puwede na rin magsuplada/o, puwede na rin maginarte... HANEP EH!). Ansakit sa ulo... Minsan maganda ang pagde-deviate, nawawala ang limits, umuunlad tayo. Pero lagay naman natin sa tama. Hahaha.

***

"In a relationship, nobody loves more.
When we begin to compare, either resentment, selfishness or both creeps in.
Either way, we get doomed."

Pauso ko ulet. Cute eh. May nagsabi kasi sa akin ng "I love you more". Ooops, walang issue... Ading ko ang nagsabi. So ayan ang sagot ko.  Hirap kasi pag nagbilangan na ng effort. Hindi ako magpapakaimpokrito, kung hindi man mahirap, SOBRANG HIRAP magbigay ng effort na hindi bumabalik. Pakiramdam natin sayang lang lahat. Pero sabi nga ni Papa Jack (nakikinig ako, gabi-gabi), "A relationship is not just give and take, its give and give." Ganon kasi magmahal, walang kapalit pero bigay todo. At kung hindi mo yan kaya, magisip ka. Baka hindi ka nagmamahal, baka kelangan mo lang ng hobby.

***

Dahil puro pauso ko lang naman ang post na ito, tapusin natin ito sa TULA. Writer ako, bakit. :)
Inspired ng Nakatingin sa Bituin ni Jose F. Lacaba

'Di Mahawakan
-JPG

Minsa'y lumabas upang mamasyal

'Di Mapigilang mapansin

ilang bulaklak sa hardin

Kaygandang pagmasdan

Subalit 'di ko mahawakan

Mahigpit na bilin ng ina
Huwag silang sisirain
'pagkat sila'y may buhay din

Kaygandang pagmasdan

Subalit 'di ko mahawakan

Sa gabing madilim ay napagtanto
Mga bagay na maganda
bulaklak man o tala

Kaygandang pagmasdan

Subalit 'di ko mahawakan

May mga batang dumaan
pinitas ang mga bulaklak sa hardin
Nais kong magmatapang at sila'y pigilan

walang nagawa kundi pagmasdan

Subalit 'di ko mahawakan

Kanilang pinaglaruan
isinabit sa kung saan-saan
matapos ay iniwan na lang
hanggang sa mayurakan

Kayhirap pagmasdan

Subalit 'di pa rin mahawakan

 

 

HI sa tatay kong hindi alam na hindi pinaghihintay ang malikot na utak sa pagbblog... :D

 

Kaldereta, Speech at Contentment

Note: This blog post is inspired by a dish (cooked by me), a graduation speech and thoughts that never left my tiny brain.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
- Epicurus

Masaya lang ako. Masaya ako dahil sa maraming bagay. Dahil sa alam kong kaya akong patawarin ng mga tao kahit paulit-ulit akong magkamali. Dahil naniniwala na ulit ako sa tadhana. Dahil kay Lourd De Veyra na naghatid ng mahusay na graduation speech sa UP Masscom. Dahil kalderetang baka ang ulam at masarap ito (at ako talaga ang nagluto).

Kuntento. Contentment. Sabi sa dictionary:

Content

adj
1.	mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are
2.	assenting to or willing to accept circumstances, a proposed course of action, etc

Naisipan ko magluto ng kaldereta ngayon. Akala ko kasi dadating 'yung pinsan ko. 'Yung paborito kong pinsan. At dahil ang mga pinsan ang unang "bestfriend" natin, gusto ko masarap ang ulam niya. 

Bumili ako ng tomato paste, naisip ko masarap pag may carrots kaya bumili ako, naisip ko rin na wala pala akong bellpeper na nabili, bili ako. Magsisimula na sana ako maghiwa ng kung anu-ano nang maisip ko na wala akong keso. Oo, lumabas ako at bumili. Saka ko lang napagtanto na wala akong liver spread. Sais pesos na lang ang nasa kamay ko at nagaalangan na kong makakahanap pa ko ng pangdagdag. Pero hindi ako sumuko. Nilikom ko lahat ng mamisong nagkalat sa sala namin at sa wakas, nakaipon ako ng 18php. Duda akong sapat na iyon pero lumakad na ko. 20php ang isa at kahit nakakahiya, inutang ko na muna ung dos. Kailangan ko pa magluto kaya ndi na 'ko nagatubili. Pumayag naman ung nagbabantay eh.

Natapos ako magluto, saka ko nalaman na hindi na pupunta ang pinsan ko. Ansaya 'di ba. Oo nga pala, hanggang ngayon may utang pa rin akong dos sa tindahan.

Syempre badtrip ako, bakit pa ko nagluto? Kaso dumating ang tatay ko, kumain. Pagkatapos ng 3 araw naming cold war, kumain siya at sinaid ang sinandok na ulam. Nakatingin ako habang ansarap ng kain niya. (Mayabang ako. Blog ko 'to, bakit... 'Dun ka magyabang sa blog mo...)

Dun lang ako nakuntento. Oo nakuntento ako pagkatapos ng isang buwan at labingpitong araw. Bakit? Nakitaan ko ng pagtanggap ang tatay ko... 'Yung tao na akala ko bato...At bakit ako nakuntento??? Simple lang, nakabalik na ako sa dati kong sarili. Ang pokus, naibalik na sa dati nitong kinalalagyan.

Tinamaan ako kay Epicurus. Ang mga bagay na mayroon ako ngayon ay ang mga bagay na hinangad ko noon. Na kung hindi kaya, huwag ng magasam pa ng iba.

Minsan daw nagtanong ang estudyanteng henyo sa gurong henyo, si Plato kay Socrates:

Plato asked Socrates:"What is happiness?"
Socrates said:" I ask you to across the field and pick a flowers which is the most beautiful, but there is a rule that you can't go back and you can pick only one."
So Plato began to do this. After long time, he came back and held the most beautiful flower.
Socrates asked him:"Is this the most beautiful flower?"
Plato said:"When I crossed the field, I saw this beautiful flower and I picked it up and recognizing that it is the most beautiful one, while I saw many other beautiful flowers later, but I still insist on this one is the most beautiful one so I took it back."

Kuntento. Para sa'ken, kuntento lang ako hangga't kaya kong manatiling nakapokus. Habang umiindak sa sayaw ng buhay at nakikinig sa tugtog na tinatawag nilang tadhana. Madalas kasi, sabi nga ni Lourd, nakakalimutan natin ang orihinal na pakay natin... Andaming nakakapukaw ng atensyon natin at sa sobrang dami ng gusto natin, nawawala talaga kung ano talaga ang gusto natin. Ang masaklap pa, pag naalala na natin 'yung original plan, huli na ang lahat.

Sabi nga sa isang parte ng speech ni pareng Lourd na kinuha sa isang tula:

Nasalpok ko tuloy,nasalpok ng isang paa,
ang isang tambak ng
taeng-kalabaw sa daan:
paglakad sa lansangan,
nakatingin sa bituin.

Santambak na kumalat
sa kalsada’t paa ko,
paalala ng lupa
na paa’y nakatapak
paglakad sa lansangan,
nakatingin sa bituin.

Madami rin akong gusto. Pero sa ngayon, isa lang ang gusto ko. Maibalik ang tiwala ng mga taong TOTOONG naniniwala sa akin. 'Yung mga taong handang tanggapin ako, anumang kasalanan at kamalian ang gawin ko. Tadhana, nagluto ako para sa pinsan ko, dumating ang tatay ko at nagustuhan ang niluto ko. Kung hindi ako nagluto, hindi ako makukuntento (kahit na ilang beses ako lumabas para bumili ng kung anu-ano).

Kuntento na sana ako pero bilang panapos, dahil gaya-gaya ako, isang tula rin ang ibabahagi ko. Isa sa mga unang tula na inintindi ko at nagmulat sa aking mga mata. 

"Ang Guryon"

ni Ildefonso Santos
 

Tanggapin mo, anak, itong munting guryon

na yari sa patpat at papel de Hapon;

magandang laruang pula, puti, asul,

na may pangalan mong sa gitna naroon.

Ang hiling ko lamang, bago paliparin

ang guryon mong ito ay pakatimbangin;

ang solo't paulo'y sukating magaling

nang hindi mag-ikit o kaya'y magkiling.
 

Saka pag sumimoy ang hangin , ilabas

at sa papawiri'y bayaang lumipad;

datapwa't ang pisi'y tibayan mo, anak,

at baka lagutin ng hanging malakas.
 

Ibigin mo't hindi, balang araw ikaw

ay mapapabuyong makipagdagitan;

makipaglaban ka, subali't tandaan

na ang nagwawagi'y ang pusong marangal.
 

At kung ang guryon mo'y sakaling madaig,

matangay ng iba o kaya'y mapatid;

kung saka-sakaling di na mapabalik,

maawaing kamay nawa ang magkamit!
 

Ang buhay ay guryon: marupok, malikot,

dagiti't dumagit, saanman sumuot...

O, paliparin mo't ihalik sa Diyos,

bago pa tuluyang sa lupa'y sumubsob!


Ito na ata ang pinakamahabang blog post ko... At kung hindi ka nag-enjoy sa pagbasa nito, sumayaw ka na lang..:D

The wind creates the Rift

I've got to breathe, 

you can't take that from me 

'Cause it's all that you left that's mine  

You had to leave and that's all I can see 

But you told me your love was blind

 
I know there are times you're so impossible  

That I should sign a waiver  

And you will find someone worth walking on  

When you ask me to go 

 
I'll leave when the wind blows  

Take a breath and away it goes 

I'll be outside of your window 

I'll pass by but I'll go slow  

I'll leave when the wind blows

 
There was a day you threw our love away  

Then you passed it to someone new  

You wanna stay but since you wanna play  

We can finally say we're through

 
I know there are times you're so impossible  

And you ask me to go

 
I'll leave when the wind blows 

Take a breath and away it goes 

I'll be outside of your window 

'll pass by but I'll go slow 
I'll leave when the wind blows  

You can scream there's just echoes 

I''ll pass outside of your window  

You'll be sad that you let me go  

I'll leave but just know
 

As I lay in solitude, oh what's a boy supposed to do?  

I shake the very thought of you, me together 

I remember Late nights when I stayed up late all I do is wait and wait  

You're never coming home to me, that's the hardest thing to see
 

I've got to breathe, you can't take that from me  

I can finally say we're through
 

I'll leave when the wind blows  

Take a breath and away it goes  

I'll be outside of your window 

I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows 

You can scream there's just echoes  

I'll pass outside of your window 

You'll be sad that you let me go  

On every face you'll ever know 

And everywhere you'll ever go  

You'll feel when the wind blows

Here goes nothing

If today's the day I die
Lay me down under the lights
Let me fall in love
Let me save a life

And let me lose my voice
Singing all my favorite songs
Let me stare up at the stars
'Cause it's where we all belong

My heart like a firework in my chest
My only regret is having regrets
Travelled the world
I loved every step

And all I know is:
No one, no one lives forever
We will be remembered
For what we do right now

And baby I'm living louder
And dreaming longer, tonight
(We're living louder, we're living louder)
And baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight
(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)

'Cause we're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Yeah the good die young
But the great will always last
We're growing older
But we're all soldiers tonight

If today's the day I go
Gonna drink with all my friends
Gonna laugh until we cry
As we talk and reminisce

And let me kiss a stranger
And rob the local bank
Let me become real rich
So I can give it all away

'Cause no one, no one lives forever
But we will be remembered
For what we do right now

And baby I'm living louder
And dreaming longer, tonight
(We're living louder, we're living louder)
And baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight
(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)

'Cause we're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Yeah the good die young
But the great will always last

We're growing older
But we're all soldiers tonight

When you've got your breath inside your head
Every day's a second chance
If I wake up with a beating heart
Will I stand or will I fall?

I'm living louder
Dreaming longer tonight
Baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight

And baby I'm living louder
And dreaming longer tonight
(We're living louder, we're living louder)
And baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight
(We're loving stronger, we're loving stronger)

'Cause we're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Yeah the good die young
But the great will always last
We're growing older
But we're all soldiers tonight




Its morphin time! :)
Lets morphin! :)

Its time for special buster! :)

Omens

The cat just broke out of the chain...

Omens, how I love seeing 'em...

When would the bike give up, I wonder...

Tamad magpost si Dyeypee eh...:(

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be 

I can't say anything yet so ito na lang muna...

Kids :)

So what's this blog post for??? Figure it out!

These past few days, I'm fond of kids. If you know the trick, they'll be fond of you too...

So here's some shots of Karl... :)

That's Karl... my bouncing baby nephew...

And time sure flies by soooooooooooooo fast... he's 3 y/o.

And he'll be having a cousin soon... Will it be a another baby boy? Or a baby girl this time???? :)

For what its worth... and what its not...

 Worth /wɜrθ/  - value: equivalence

"The true worth of a man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colors and textures that come alive in others."
- Albert Schweitzer

Nobody responded so here's my blog post about worth. Worth is our value and by saying value, well just like beauty, its in the eye of the beholder. But maybe, just maybe, it also depends on what we show to others, or what we choose to show to them.

"pare, kung kilala mo 'yung tao alam mo 'yung value nya..."
- Larry James Janayon

I had a good talk with an old friend last night. We chatted 'bout two things, one is his status quo and the other one is the thing that is currently bothering me and in the process he mentioned what was quoted.

So what is my value??? Ask the people around me! :)
They know better...

So pano na 'yung mga taong we deem as "walang kwenta" or "walang pakinabang"??? Maybe we just don't know them enough or we barely know them at all. Ang hirap din kasi kapag hindi sila totoo kahit sa sarili nila... Kapag ang buhay nila ay isang malaking make-believe... When reality strikes, masasaktan at masasaktan sila. And what's worse, kung gaano kabigat 'yung make-believe, ganun din kasakit kapag reality strikes back. Pero kahit ganun, hindi totoong wala silang worth... Sabi nga ni pareng Pascal:

"We are all something, but none of us are everything."

- Blaise Pascal

May oras pa... yan din ang sabi ni pareng Larry. I just hope its not too late.

Hello sa mga chow chow!!! Yan ang magiging kalaro ni Tasha someday (at papangalanan namin itong Socks). :)

Wala lang, gusto lang magpost... Sad old song, ganyan dapat tunug.

I've come back this mornin' to where I first came alive
Here within this terminal where the buses arrive
I was a commuter on the 804
Work for a computer on the 19th floor and...

You came down the aisle of the bus and you sat by my side
Shoulder up to shoulder we shared that 9 o'clock ride
Oh, my heart was screamin' as you left your seat
Followin' your movements I was at your feet and...

Oh, down into the terminal both of us smiled
So we entered the terminal just as you smiled
"Won't you leave out work for today?" you ask of me then
So I phoned-in-sick on the way to the home of a friend
We were all alone from 10 A.M. till 3
Really thought the fire had gone out of me but...

You awoke the sleep of my life from gray into red
Made the weary wonder of Wall Street rise from the dead
Could have held up budding my entire life
But I had to get home to the kids and the wife and...
So I left for the terminal where I began
Baby, no, I wouldn't have left if I'd been half a man

So here I am this morning where love had asked for the dance
Here within this terminal where I passed on a chance
Lord, I'll never find her though I've truly tried
Probably she's found another bus to ride and...

I am now about to begin the last of my days
I'm within what others would call a terminal phase
I myself can only say it's livin' dead
Ridin' to the office with a song in my head that goes...

La da da...
And you know it grows
La da da...
Oh, la da da...
Oh, la da da...

Yan, ganyan dapat tunug ng malungkot at matandang kanta.

Hahaha, netong nakaraan, puro ganyan laman ng player ko.

Worth, that will be my next blog topic.
Hey reader, mag-comment ka naman at ipaalam sa'kin what I'm worth.
These past few days, I can't seem to find my worth eh. :)

 

Oh, and I was in Tagaytay. Its not my first time pero ngayon lang ako nagpunta dun para mamasyal. :)
Eto ang ebidensya. Purple Man went to Tagaytay (@ Caleruega Church):)

Love and how it goes

Love is.......

Well before everything else that is cheesy and mushy, let's go back to the basic.
Love is a verb, an action word. Thus, when we love, we act, we do (hahaha) something.

We say these "I love you"s a lot but we don't really know its meaning. And for me, we only start to love when we act. When we do something to make this feeling known. How? There are so many damn, stupid, awesome, amazing and splendid ways. Maybe it depends on our individual personality.

When two people fall in love:

They trust each other. No matter how nervous, worried or dangerous it could be, we trust. Why? Because it's a way of submission. It's a subliminal message of love. Someone told me that love and trust entered the dictionary at the same time. When we love, we trust. We cling to whatever reason, strong, weak, even impossibility, because we believe this feeling will see us through anything.

They doubt. Oh, what the hell am I saying?! Hahaha. This part, I'll be brief but concise. We doubt once in a while... for whatever reason, it varies. And if you'll say you didn't, well whoever doesn't doubt himself commits the sin of pride. Thing is, don't let it eat you. Love is stronger than doubt.

They cherish. Because life is love and to live is to cherish. By transitive rule, when we love, we cherish the moments we spend with each other. We treasure it with all our hearts.

They argue. Because loving is also a struggle for there is individuality. One way or another, there would be differences. A wall they have to break, or a wall they'll start to build higher. But when love is true, no matter how big or small this wall is, it can break through anything.

I'll have to break the blog post cause sleep is a necessity. But let me end it just like how I started.
Love is a word, an action word. Therefore it has these verb tenses too.

Loved, love/loves, will/shall love. (spare me, let's pretend I only know the basic tenses)

Those who are loved: Let's learn from whatever experience that we had. As I have always said "walang nasasayang na experience". Most of all, be thankful. We may not have kept that person but at least, we have these moments that will always live inside our hearts.

Those who are in love: Seize the day. Spend everyday as if it's the last. No one knows the day nor the hour. Remember, to live is to cherish. Trust him/her with your life, if you can't do that someone else might be able to.

Those who will love: If you prayed for rain, prepare to receive it. :) That is called faith. Have faith. It can move mountains. Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.


To you whom I love and will love... Let's strive to be better than we are because...

"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

- Paulo Coelho

I love you baby. :)